SONGS/VIDEOS TO MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD – IN CELEBRATION OF PRIDE and LOVE EVERYWHERE!

In celebration of Gay Pride, Love and Positive Energy – I decided to share some music videos that have thought provoking messages, are relevant in terms of the songs message or simply make you feel like you want to dance.  Whether you identify as gay, straight, bisexual or transgender – let your true colours fly and do it without judging someone else’s authenticity.  Now let’s celebrate PRIDE by spreading love and positive energy into the world:

NOTHING REALLY MATTERS (REMIX) – Madonna

YOU DON’T KNOW – Cyndi Lauper

FEEL WHAT YOU WANT – Kristine W

FREE – Ultra Nate

POWER OF LOVE – Deee-Lite

PROUD – Heather Small

MODERN LOVE – Rupaul

A LITTLE RESPECT (HMI Redux) – Erasure

AFTER ALL – Billie Ray Martin

GLASS & PATRON – FKA Twigs

BRING THE NOIZE – M.I.A.

LIGHT IN PLACES – Peaches

LIVING FOR LOVE (Remix) – Madonna

Let music move you towards creating positive change in the world.  Allow LOVE into your heart and live with positive energy within your heart.

HAPPY PRIDE to everyone!!!

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE GAY

I have known that there was something wonderful and different about me.  This wonderful thing wasn’t something I reacted to – it was something that was embedded within me.  I didn’t learn it because it was something I just didn’t turn on – it was always there since my birth.  The only time I started doubting my authenticity was when I realized how others viewed those who were born with this ‘uniqueness’.  I was gay, I was me, I was authentic but I now had to deny my authenticity because others were uncomfortable with it.  So I did, until I was 21 and tired of living a lie and trying to please and garner respect from others who had no respect for me. 

So what was it like to be gay?  I can answer this question based on various stages and ages:

From my birth to the age of 12Like I mentioned above, it wasn’t until I understood how people felt about those who were different, that I decided to keep my authenticity to myself.  I remember how ridiculed, belittled, verbally and physically abused and harassed gay people were by those who didn’t tolerate it and only because of this, I decided to live a closeted life.

Between the ages of 13 and 20I understood I was different, I understood I wasn’t really interested in a sexual relationship with those of the opposite sex but alas, society, peers, religion and family enforced their distaste for homosexuals.  I wasn’t encouraged to live an authentic life, so I continued living a life for others and not for myself.  This lie caused much inner-turmoil and created self-hatred and internal homophobia.

Between the ages of 21 and 30I was finally free.  I was in my first long-term relationship and felt I couldn’t live my life filled with lies, deception and without being true to myself.  I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t change who I was – I was born like this.  I was happy with who I was and the problem didn’t lie with me, it lied with those who were ignorant and biased against me and others who were born like me.  These people justified their hate and ignorance behind their religious beliefs and the stereotypes they knew to be true about the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gendered community.  I had enough.

Between the ages of 31 and nowI became more and more comfortable in living my authentic life.  The weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders.  If any of my friends of family had issues with who I was, I was comfortable enough to remove them from my life and allow them to deal with their own prejudices.  Mostly, there weren’t any issues about my sexuality amongst my friends or family that became evident.  If anyone had issues, they were never brought to my attention.  I am who I am.  For those who believe in religious doctrine – I am who God made me to be and if we are all products of The Maker, than the maker is gay, straight, bisexual, black or white.  We DO NOT choose the colour of our skin or our eyes but we do choose what we believe.

So, what is it like to be gay?  Simply, the same as it is to be straight.  If being gay is a choice, then being straight must also be a choice.  I am not defined by my “gayness”, I am defined by my character.  I believe that my character CHOOSES to create positive change in the world, to help people who are down, to encourage people to be kind, loving, compassionate and caring – those are choices, and I would rather choose love and kindness over hate and ignorance.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

 

COMING OUT OF MY CLOSET

Words That Describe How I Felt In ‘My Closet’

Alone, Scared, Different, Alienated, Suicidal, Disgraced, Anxious, Depressed, Unloved, Hopeless, Withdrawn, Lie, Worthless, Angry, Sad, Confused, Hurt, Hate

Words That Describe How I Felt After ‘Coming Out of My Closet’

Free, Unchained, Scared, Authentic, Loved, Happy, Truth, Worthy, Sane, Hopeful, Rejuvenated, Alive, Joyful, Exstatic, Proud, Sense of Community, Cared For, Relevant, Right, Inspired, Independent, Courageous, Strong, Able, Respected

Once you remove the words and judgements of others – you can begin to remove the negative emotions that are associated with those negative words.

 There is nothing wrong with or when you become comfortable with your authentic self.  We must not allow the judgement of those who are not accepting of the differences in people to dictate our lives.  If we allow these judgemental people to dictate what is right or wrong based on their religious beliefs with other people, then we better start lining everyone up to receive judgment.

This video is perfect in explaining how we are all the same and that whatever hurts we feel are all the same.

May you all free your true and authentic selves from your closets and live the life that you were meant to be.  Love, light, happiness and joy to all of you!

 

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

SPEAKING FROM THE HEART and FROM LOVE

I don’t know much about Dale Hansen and have not even heard of him until someone shared this video on Facebook.  Now, I am glad that I know of Dale Hansen and wish that all people felt the same way as he does…..this video should be an inspiration to all of us to speak of others with respect, love and without judgment.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

 

A TEACHER IN ONTARIO, CANADA IS BROUGHT TO TEARS – SAME LOVE (Macklemore & Ryan featuring Mary Lambert)

THIS POST IS FROM A SCHOOL TEACHER IN ONTARIO, CANADA……………via reddit.

I teach Grade 8 (13-14 years old) in Ontario, Canada. I am gay, and my students have known this for about a month or so. I am in my first year of teaching, and I teach the class that is considered the “tough” class – they don’t get along well with some of their other teachers, and they can be rowdy. Not so much for me, though.

In particular, I have one group of boys that can be a bit of a pain in the neck. Never keep their hands to themselves, always talk out of turn, have gotten in fights, etc. There is one boy in this group (he will be known here as Harry) who is a little quieter than the others, but very popular. He’s a bit tough to get close to, and seems like the type to be resistant to new ideas and different people. He hangs out with another tough kid (let’s call him Mark), who is loud and boisterous and often rude.

Now that it’s so close to the end of the year, I do a “YouTube of the Day” with them every morning. Kids can send in a short YouTube video for me to show to the class, I preview it, and if it’s appropriate, I play it. So this morning, Harry comes up to me and says, “I have a video I want to play.”

Now, I preview things for a reason. There are enough horror stories out there of teachers accidentally showing their kids porn for me to be very careful what I show my class. So I tell him to send it to me because, y’know, them’s the rules.

“I really want to show it,” he says back. “You’ll like it, I promise. It’s a music video.”

Given what Harry listens to, I’m wary. He listens to a lot of rap and hip-hop, and that’s fine, but I’ve heard some non-school-appropriate language come out of the music he listens to. So I ask him if it’s appropriate for school; he tells me yes.

This kid is many things, but he has never lied to me. Not once. So… I take a deep breath and tell him okay. What the heck.

So he goes on over and pulls it on up, and on comes a song I have never heard before. The artist is rapping about growing up gay, about the struggles of being gay, and about standing up in the face of hatred and homophobia. “Same Love,” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. The video (linked) was beautiful.

And there’s Harry, proudly watching along with the rest of the class as the artist stands up for those gay kids who struggle, and the video shows a difficult, lonely life culminating in a fabulous wedding. Harry. My “tough kid.”

The video finishes, the kids applaud, and I thank him, and he says to me, “I told you you’d like it.”

And then his loud, rude friend Mark says: “That was for you, Mr. K.”

The whole class applauded again – for me this time – and then I cried. I cried the proudest tears I have ever shed.

Harry and Mark… they might tick off every teacher they ever have, but today they gave this teacher a moment he’ll never forget.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

JASON COLLINS IS GAY!

I am sure that many have heard the news that pro NBA player – Jason Collins has proclaimed that he is gay!  Here are comments that people have made about this news:

“I’m proud to call Jason Collins a friend.”Bill Clinton (via twitter)

“When I see you I’m gonna hug your knees so hard.”Ellen Degeneres

“This is what role models are made of.  Here’s to a time when it’s no big deal.”Ricky Gervais (via twitter)

“Thank you for not being afraid to speak up and speak out.  Thank you for your courage.” – Representative John Lewis (via twitter)

“Hey @JasonCollins34 I’m still gayer than you!” – Rupaul (via twitter)

“So proud of you, Jason Collins!  This is a huge step forward for our country.  We’ve got your back!” – Michelle Obama, FLOTUS (via twitter)

“Collins has led the way to freedom. Yes, freedom — because that closet is completely and utterly suffocating. It’s only when you come out that you can breathe properly. It’s only when you come out that you can be exactly who you are. Collins’ action will save lives. This is no exaggeration: Fully one-third of suicides among teenagers occur because of their sexuality. Collins will truly affect lives, too. Millions of kids will see that it is OK to be gay. No need for shame, no need for embarrassment, no need for hiding”Martina Navratilova (Sports Illustrated column)  – Martina came out in 1981 at the height of her pro-tennis career.

Not all of the news was positive though…..here are what non-supporters have said (again, hiding behind religion to justify their bigotry and ignorance):

“Personally, I don’t believe that you can live an openly homosexual lifestyle or an openly, like premarital sex between heterosexuals. If you’re openly living that type of lifestyle, then the Bible says you know them by their fruits. It says that, you know, that’s a sin. If you’re openly living in unrepentant sin, whatever it may be, not just homosexuality, whatever it maybe, I believe that’s walking in open rebellion to God and to Jesus Christ. So I would not characterize that person as a Christian because I don’t think the bible would characterize them as a Christian.” – ESPN sportscaster Chris Broussard

“I will guarantee you if the ownership of whatever team is thinking about bringing him back or thinking about trading for him – and they go to the players on that team and they say ‘how do you feel about an out, active homosexual being in the same locker room sharing the same shower facilities with you’ they’d say ‘no way. I don’t want that. I don’t want some guy, a teammate eyeballin’ me in the shower and my wife does not want that.” –  Bryan Fischer (AFA – America Family Association)

Here is Jason Collins first interview after ‘coming out’ on Good Morning America:

I focused on the positive comments because it is that feedback that matters.  Those who make negative comments are hiding behind their fear of what they don’t want to understand.   Some of my (gay) friends have made comments such as;  “big deal, there are many courageous individuals that are not in the public eye that ‘come out’ every day and don’t even receive half as much attention”.  Yes, many individuals come out everyday – which is also great.  However, it is not everyday where a pro-athlete decides to risk their future career by announcing to the world they are homosexual.  Jason Collins coming out IS a big deal.  As Martina Navratilova indicated in her Sports Illustrated column (see comments above).  In addition to this giving our LGBT youth the courage and strength to come out and live their true authentic lives – it may also inspire other pro-athletes to stop denying their right to live their true authentic selves.

Looking back – I wonder how much earlier I would have come out had some of my role-models made such an important and public statement.  Never-the-less, Jason Collins news is wonderful, inspiring and important for reasons that heterosexuals may not understand.  One such reason is that gay youth, men and women may not feel a disconnect and alone when there is such a high-profile role model in the public eye and that there are others that are just like them.

Jason Collins did not come out to seek attention – he come out to truly live his authentic life and in doing so, has probably saved the lives of so many who are struggling with their own sexuality.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

I AM GAY, AND I AM NO DIFFERENT THAN YOU ARE!

Why is the world obsessing over homosexuality?  I don’t understand the constant debates about gay marriage, being an ‘out’ boy scout, being a gay politician, teacher, celebrity, athlete, preacher or garbage collector.  People need to face the facts – GAY PEOPLE EXIST and we are tired of being treated as if we are second class citizens.  We have jobs, we pay taxes, we have hardships and families and go through the same life experiences as everyone else on the planet go through.  So what is the difference between homosexuals and heterosexuals besides the same-sex attraction?  Let’s look at some of the things that heterosexuals can do that homosexuals can not (in most places) – Let’s also look at some of the stereotypes people have about homosexuals.

  • Heterosexuals can marry – homosexuals can not (in most countries)
  • Heterosexuals can adopt – homosexuals can not (in most countries)
  • Heterosexuals are not discriminated against because of their religious beliefs
  • Everyone is born a sinner – but in the eyes of religion, homosexuals are damned because of whom they love
  • Homosexual athletes will try to hit on you in the locker rooms if they are open about their sexuality (said very sarcastic)
  • Homosexuals can’t play sports – they are not manly enough (said very sarcastic)
  • Lesbians want to be men and gay men want to be women because one partner has to be effeminate and the other manly
  • There is a gay agenda 
  • Gay teachers only teach homosexuality so that they can recruit your children to that lifestyle
  • Homosexuals can not be ‘out’ while serving and possibly dying for their country
  • Homosexuals can not have visitation rights if their partner is hospitalized for any reason (most parts of the world)
  • Most religions condemn homosexuality even though the basic message of religion is to love all and show compassion to all (possibly interpreted by a homophobic male)
  • Homosexual parents will try to convert their children to their lifestyle
  • Homosexuality is not natural because – man and women are put on earth to procreate (like there isn’t enough people on the planet)
  • If you listen to Cher, Madonna, Lady Gaga, Liza Minnelli, Barbara Streisand and like show tunes – you are gay!
  • Homosexuals are put to death in some countries for being gay (I don’t think a heterosexual has ever been put to death because they love a person of the opposite sex)
  • All homosexuals practice bestiality (no heterosexuals practice this)
  • All homosexuals are promiscuous (there are no heterosexuals who are promiscuous)
  • All homosexuals have HIV/AIDS (heterosexuals can not contract HIV/AIDS)
  • All homosexuals are pedophiles (there are no heterosexual pedophiles)
  • All homosexuals are interior decorators (although we are great at it…lol)

I think I have covered everything.  Looking at this list – it’s no wonder gays and lesbians consider it a hardship to live their authentic lives.  Many lesbians and gays don’t ‘come out’ because they know that society doesn’t have a positive perception of them.  Many choose suicide because they want to end the constant bullying from those who believe all the stereotypes and prejudices listed above.  Many gays and lesbians don’t want to live their authentic lives because of the threats of violence they may face.  Many don’t want to live their authentic lives because they may face death – Imagine, being put do death because of who you love. 

I didn’t ‘come out’ until I was 21…..why did I have to come out?  I had to come out because I was tired of being called a faggot, ass-muncher, fruitcake and fairy.  I had to come out because I was tired of being told that homosexuals are not capable of having loving and committed relationships.  I had to come out because I was tired of living a life that was making me miserable.  I had to come out because I wasn’t living my true authentic self.  I had to come out because I didn’t want to see another gay or lesbian endure violence just because they were born gay.  I needed to come out because I wanted to stand up to those punks who threw a bottle at my head (they missed by inches) from their car as they drove by yelling ‘die faggot, die’.  I needed to come out because I could potentially be a positive influence for those who may have struggle with their sexuality in the future.  Most of all – I needed to come out so that I could start to live.  I wonder if heterosexuals have these struggles……

Gay marriage will not destroy the world.  Why do I know this?  Well – if the institution of marriage was so important to heterosexuals why all the divorces?  Why the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th marriages – are you not supposed to be happy with the first partner you choose?  Didn’t you have the opportunity to ‘scout’ potential life mates when you were single?

Gay scouts will not destroy society.  Why do I know this?  Well – there have been gay boy scouts since the boy scouts inception and those people who think otherwise, are fooling themselves.

We are not trying to convert anyone – there is no gay agenda, we don’t want your babies so that we can convert them to our lifestyle.  We don’t become teachers, politicians, preachers and police men and women so that we can push a gay agenda.  We do the exact same things you do – we do the best we can with the lives that are given to us by living, loving and by being compassionate towards others.  I can’t change my attraction to the same-sex, that is a composition of how I was born – so why would YOU want to change me?  If it was that easy for me to choose my lifestyle, then the same holds true for you – the only difference is that I don’t want to change who you fundamentally are, I only want to remove the stereotypes that you have towards me and those who were born like me.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

 

THE CHRISTIAN BIGOTRY AND HATE CONTINUES……

Brian Fischer – Leader of the American Family Association is spewing his hate and made-up statistics about homosexuals.

Mr. Fischer is up-in-arms about the Boy Scouts of America’s potential move to drop its policy against gay scouts and scout leaders.  He denounces the Boy Scouts calling them ‘suicidal’ should they drop its policy.  He continues to say “from this day forward there is not one loving father in America that ever, ever, ever oughta entrust his son to the Boy Scouts of America”.  Mr. Fischer is claims “male homosexuals offend against children at roughly 10 times the rate at which heterosexuals offend” indicating that dropping the policy against gay scouts and leaders is an open invitation to pedophiles.

Many people ask me why I continue to post videos and information on ‘hate groups’ and why do I even bother to give them an outlet to release such bigotry.  My answer is simple.  In order to create positivity and love in the world, we must continue to fight those who continuely demonize others and use religion, God and the Bible as reference to justify this bigotry.  Using the ‘religious card’ is completely hypocritical – and if you believe ‘the word of God’, God created all of us in His own image.  Being a gay male, I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to change my sexuality and be gay.  I was born this way as He made me.  God is love – therefore if anyone shouldn’t be entrusting their sons or daughters to any organization – it should be organizations like the American Family Association who continue to perpetuate hate all in the name of archaic religious ideologies.

Here is a video of Brian Fischer spewing his hate:

We are all better than people like this…..and I have so much more faith that the majority of those who believe in God are inclusive, loving, compassionate and supportive human beings.  I am grateful for those who are like that and  hope they continue to spread their love in the world!

Together we can make the world a more positive one.

MOVE FORWARD FROM HATE and LIVE YOUR AUTHENTIC LIFE!

Sometimes life becomes very overwhelming and we may ask ourselves how much more can we go through without becoming emotionally detached.

Most of my life, I was emotionally detached with myself and desperately trying to fit in and be accepted.  I wasn’t thrilled about my home life and during most of my teens – I would do everything it would take to get out of the house.  There was much fear, anger and sadness at home and I could not deal with those things as I was trying so hard to figure out who I was and how to deal with my own internal battles.

Eventually, I finally discovered who I was and then had to confront my next battle – overcoming my internal homophobia.  Can you imagine?  I finally came to understand that I was born homosexual only to find I had to learn how to remove all the negative stereotypes associated to the gay lifestyle that family, friends, society and even the gay community instilled into my brain.  Gay people were dirty, promiscuous, always drinking and partying, doing drugs and having un-safe sex – that was what I was always being told and believed until I became part of the gay community.

After many years of dealing with my own internal homophobia – I learned that I loved who I was and was not ever going to apologize for being born this way.  The anger and confusion from all the things I was taught were right by family, friends, religion and society was finally beginning to wear off – I was finally free to act how I wanted to act and to say what I wanted to say.  I finally felt free!

I may have made choices in my life that I was not proud of – but I have no regrets because had I not made those choices, I would not be the strong person I am today.  Many people ask me why I decided to come out or what was it like living a double life?  The only way I could answer that was by using this analogy:

Imagine a world where everyone in it is gay or lesbian….you turn on the television and it was all same-sex couples, you open the newspaper or magazines and everyone were same-sex couples, the billboards on the streets, everything around you is “normal” and same-sex.  You knew there is something different within you and it does not fall in line with everything around you….you know you are attracted to the opposite sex but you can’t do anything about it because it is not “normal” according to everything around you – your family, friends, society, religion – all of it goes against what you feel inside.  Then you meet someone and you fall in love – you want to share everything with that person and you want to share that love you have with that person with everyone in your life, BUT YOU CAN’T because it goes against the laws of that same-sex society.  How would you feel and what would you do?

That was my struggle and that continues to be the struggle of countless children who are not encouraged to be whom they were born to be.  We ask ourselves ‘how can these kids who kill themselves succumb to those who are bullying them?  One reason is because, right from the start – these children are being told that they are not equals to what society deems to be ‘normal’.

I am happy to live my life with someone I love and care for more than anyone else in this world….my husband Jason.  I feel that our love continues to grow because of our similar past and the struggles we faced as homosexual men.  I also feel that it is our duty to inform our friends and family that we are no different from them – except that they were born heterosexuals.

As I said above – life is too difficult already and I don’t feel like a debate is necessary on whether or not my homosexuality was a choice that I made – all you have to do is ask me and I can tell you that I did not choose my lifestyle of ridicule, harassment, hate, threats of violence, inequality and segregation – that is what society put upon me! I can also tell you, that if I made a conscious decision to be homosexual wouldn’t you be able to make the same choice?

My point is that, life is too short to worry about the things that should not even be an issue.  We should be worried about helping those in need;  the hungry, the sick, the poor and unhealthy.  We need to focus on love, life and healing this planet.

I love life – I love this planet and all I want for anyone who lives on this earth is to respect one another, respect mother nature and forge a life where all you give to the universe is goodness.  There is too much anger, hate and greed – we don’t need to focus on those things because those are not the things that will make your life content.

Live from love and compassion and that will be all that you know.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!