How many times have you been asked a question that makes you wonder if the person asking you that question is serious? There are countless times when people have asked me, “When did you realize you were gay?” I am sure that the question is asked in a malicious manner. I also believe that what most people mean to ask is, “When did you begin to live your life authentically?”
The LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer) community recently celebrated COMING OUT day. There was a time in my life in which I thought ‘coming out’ was important if you were a celebrity, professional athlete and even a politician. I found it gave credibility to the gay community and would allow everyone else to accept us. I no longer feel this way because I feel we are not ‘coming out’ for anyone but those who are uncomfortable with individuals from the LGBTQ community. Straight people don’t ask each other how long they have been straight – being heterosexual is just the regular and normal thing. My ‘straightness’ was a learned behaviour which completely suggests that being homosexual could be a learned behaviour as well, right? Well according to many of my friends that identify as being heterosexual – you can’t just become gay.
For as long as I can remember – I have always been attracted to the same-sex however, all my life, I have been told that I must find someone of the opposite sex, get married and have children. Every where I turned, there were couples of the opposite sex cuddling, making out, getting married, having babies and creating their lives. I turned on the television and it was the same, I opened a magazine and it was more of the same. Everything around me was heterosexual and many of those same heterosexuals where condemning and judging people who identified as homosexual.
I have never been ‘straight’ – I have never identified as heterosexual, that label was forced upon me. My authenticity and my identifying with being a homosexual man was conditioned out of me. I was forced to become straight from society, from family, from my religion and from my friends all because people decided that it wasn’t okay to LOVE.
Don’t oppress, don’t judge – live your life from LOVE and allow people’s differences to shine and to allow them to live the authentic lives they were meant to live.
Together, we can make the world a more positive one!