Sometimes it is very difficult to keep control of your anger . We snap at people when they fail to understand what we are telling them. We may take out our agression on someone that had nothing to do with why you are angry about. We sometimes become enraged when commuting. There are many incidents that will provoke us to become angry – how do we manage? Do we let that anger build up to a boiling point or do we let it roll off our backs?
Hanging on to anger is never good – you can actually see the physical manifestation when we become angry; our faces may become red, our fists clench, our body tenses, our blood rushes faster throughout our body, we clench our teeth and so on. These physical manifestations do not promote a positive reaction within yourself and will only cause more emotional distress and even physical ailments. Being angry may cause headaches, stomach pain and even bring on heart attacks. Is this what we really want for our emotional and physical well-being – Absolutely not!
Here are some helpful hints to help you control your anger:
- Stop. Breathe.
- Don’t react to anger with anger
- Think about what you are angry about – is the situation something you can control (traffic/someone else’s behaviour)
- Do a rigorous workout
- Calm yourself through meditation or yoga (if you are unfamiliar with either – attend a class with a friend)
- Read a book
- Take a walk
- Scream really loud or beat your pillow
- The best thing to do when you become angered by someone else – WALK AWAY
- If you are angered in a debate or conversation – Agree to disagree
It is very easy to become enraged when you are dealing with aggressive drivers on any commute – I have found it very difficult at times. I am becoming better as I realize that the only person I can control on the road is myself. If I am following the rules of the road and someone cuts me off or zips past me – why should I care? I am responsible for getting myself to my destination with a clear head and free of conflict. In order for me to relax on my drive to work….I often listen to my favourite artists – Erasure, Depeche Mode, Madonna, Kristine W, Faithless etc….Sometimes – I put on a meditation cd or affirmation cd (usually Louise L. Hay) to help start my day in a positive way. If someone is curt to me at work, at a store, in a mall etc….I try to put myself in their shoes and may even ask them why they are re-directing their anger towards me.
I am not always perfect and will sometimes lash out in anger but I try to be aware of my actions and the consequences they may lead to. Awareness of your actions is pivotal – especially when you want to change a behaviour that may hurt someone else’s feelings. Once you become aware of the negative behaviour you want to change – it becomes a lot easier to change it!
How do you manage or control your anger?