MY TRIALS and TRIBULATIONS IN WANTING ACCEPTANCE.

I remember a time in my life where everything I did was to either please friends, family or anyone who would pay attention.  My behaviours, the way I dressed, how I acted all depended on how others viewed me and how they would accept me.  If treating someone like crap or gossiping about another person would benefit me or garner me acceptance, I did not have a problem doing either.  There were moments when I caught myself bullying others in order to avoid being bullied myself.  Why should I be in the line of fire when I was able to put someone else there?

In high school, I clearly remember inflicting cruel words on another student.  Her name was Marla and she wasn’t very popular.  She was what many considered ‘a nerd’.  She didn’t wear clothing that most of us wore, she wasn’t very social and didn’t have many friends.  She also wore a headgear which really made her stand out.  I don’t quite remember what I said but, it was cruel and unjust.  I remember regretting what I said immediately after I said it but I didn’t let the ‘cool’ kids see my regret besides, they were too busy laughing at what I said to Marla.  I visibly upset Marla, who quickly scurried and disappeared down the hall.

Did my words have a lasting impact on Marla?  Could what I have said be the words that pushed Marla over the edge?  Did what I say further encompass Marla with despair, depression and loneliness?  I think of Marla quite often and imagine myself apologizing to her whether she remembers that moment or not.  My heart aches at the cruelty I inflicted towards Marla.

I think about the times I used many derogatory words to describe others – probably to deflect the hurtful words that I was being called.  My cruelty towards others was a way to mask my pain and a way to escape in not dealing with my sexuality and authenticity.  In addition to treating others with cruelty in order to be accepted, I managed to find another means of escape and acceptance in alcohol.

I escaped the woes of being a teenager, my sexuality, my father’s abuse and reality with alcohol.  Wanting to be accepted creates strange bedfellows.  Alcohol was a great escape, so much so that there were moments in my life that I can’t even recall or remember.  It is quite embarrassing when people from the past recall stories of things I did that I don’t even remember.

I had such a huge craving and desire to be accepted that I not only treated others like garbage but, I also treated myself like garbage.  I had no respect for others so why would I have any self-worth or self-respect?  I can’t pinpoint the exact moment in my life when this changed but, I am glad that it did.

Am I still seeking acceptance from others?  I am seeking acceptance but in a completely different way.  I want acceptance in the positivity I want to create in the world.  I want acceptance in the LOVE that I want to spread into the world.  I don’t want to inflict any emotional or physical pain on anyone.  Today, I imagine how it would feel like to be treated without respect, without love, without compassion and with only with judgments – I remember the moments in my life when I lived without love, without compassion and only judgments, it was very lonely.  I never want to be responsible for someone’s withdrawal from life and from a social connection.

If I had the opportunity to see Marla today – I would take it with open arms and apologize.  If this opportunity never comes, then my apology comes in form of the goodness and the love I will continue to spread.  I will be kind, considerate and compassionate and I will always remember that we are all Marla in one way or another.

Live with love, kindness and without judgment and you will truly be accepted.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

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LET ART CALM YOUR SOUL

In the past year, I have taken up the art of painting – more specifically acrylic.  I don’t really plan what I am going to paint – I just let my soul and feelings guide me.  Here are some of the paintings I have created:

This I painted after I heard my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It started off very dark – a pink heart surrounded by blackness.  I didn’t really like the negative energy the painting omitted, so I decided to morph it into something more positive and this is the result.

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I painted this for my spouse, Jason McGuire, as a gift….I called it “Burning Love” for two reasons:  1.  It is a heart in flames and 2.  It represents how the love between Jason and I has grown and the warm feeling that love provides my heart.

"Burning Love"

“Burning Love”

This painting I named “Path To Love” – it was one of the first I painted…..it has a kind of psychedelic 70’s flare to it….that’s why I enjoy it.

Path To Love

This painting is another one I completed for Jason – can’t remember the name right now.  This painting also encompasses the joy and love my relationship with Jason represents:

Heart In Turmoil

Here is a painting I call “Rising Love” – the hearts are coloured because I wanted them to represent universal love and they somewhat look like balloon hearts.

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As you may have noticed…much of my art are paintings of hearts.  Hearts, for me represent LOVE, COMPASSION and KINDNESS.  The heart is the key to our emotions – it allows us to feel and to have empathy for others.  It also allows us (with our emotions) to create positive change in the world – it helps us inspire others to also create positive change and to make our world a much better place.

Whether through photos, songs, poems, books, paintings, sculptures and whatever art form people choose, let that art inspire you, motivate you and let it bring out your passion.   I created these images and paintings to release whatever feelings I had inside of me.  I hope that these paintings speak to you and provide you with comfort in however they would relate to you.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN ASTROLOGY and RELIGION

Spring is a time of renewal, rebirth and the resurrection of our mother earth.  This time of year is also known (to many Christians) as the resurrection of Jesus Christ.  My views on religion have changed significantly since I was a kid – my beliefs are more agnostic, I know that there is something much bigger than all of us but I don’t think that it is the traditional Christian belief of what God is.  I don’t have anything against the choices people make in regards to their religion, as long as their religion doesn’t infringe on the rights of those who don’t have the same beliefs.

I wrote a blog a few years ago about the relationship between astrology and religion and the similarities of some of the most well-known prophets, here are the highlights:

Horus (Egyptian Sun God) 3000B.C.

  • Born on December 25th of the virgin Isis-Meri
  • Birth accompanied by a star in the east, which 3 kings followed
  • At 12, Horus was a prodigal child teacher
  • At 30, he was baptized by a figure known as Anup and began his ministry
  • Horus was also known by other names such as; The Truth, The Light, God’s Anointed Son, The Good Shepard, The Lamb of God, etc.
  • 12 disciples
  • Was betrayed by Typhon
  • Crucified
  • Buried for 3 days and then resurrected
  • Performed miracles (healed the sick, the blind, cast out demons and walked on water)

Mithra (Persian God Of Mithra) 1200B.C.

  • Born if virgin on December 25th
  • Known as; The Lamb, The Way, The Truth and The Light
  • Performed miracles
  • Resurrected on the 3rd day

Attis (Greece) 1200B.C.

  • Born of a virgin on December 25th
  • Crucified
  • Dead for 3 days
  • Resurrected

Krishna (Second person of the Hindu Trinity) 1000B.C.

  • Born of a virgin on December 25th
  • Called ‘God’ and ‘The Son of God’
  • Was a carpenter
  • Baptized in a river
  • Upon his death, he was resurrected

Dionysus (Greece) 500B.C.

  • Born of virgin on December 25th
  • Performed miracles
  • Known as; The King of Kings, Alpha and Omega
  • Resurrected upon death

And finally – the most recent of the solar Messiah’s…..

Jesus Christ

  • Also known as Yeshua of Nazareth
  • “Christ” is not his last name; it is simply the Greek word for “Messiah” or “Anointed One”
  • Born on December 25th of the virgin Mary in Bethlehem
  • Birth announced by a star in the east which 3 kings followed
  • Was a child teacher at 12
  • Was baptized by ‘John the Baptist’ at 30 thus beginning his ministry
  • Also knows as; King of Kings, Son of God, Light of The World, Alpha and Omega, Lamb of God etc.
  • Betrayed by his disciple Judas
  • Was crucified and placed in a tomb
  • Resurrected after 3 days and ascended to Heaven

Jesus is a plagiarized version of the Egyptian Sun-God, Horus.  All these saviours have derived from the ancient civilizations belief and worship of the sun.  Like all other Pagan gods, Jesus was simply a mythical figure however, it was the Roman political establishment that sought to give life to the Jesus figure for social control:  The Roman emperor, Constantine convened the Council of Nicea (325 A.D.) at which the Christian Doctrines were established and thus began a long history of Christian bloodshed and spiritual fraud.

The birth sequence of Jesus and other religious saviours is completely astrological.  The star in the east (Sirius) is the brightest star in the night sky.  On December 24th it aligns with the 3 brightest stars in Orion’s belt – which are called ‘The Three Kings’.  All point to the place of sunrise on December 25th, the birth of “God’s Sun” at winter solstice.  The sun is personified as the unseen creator or God, God’s son, The Light of The World, The Saviour of Human Kind.  The 12 constellations represented the places of travel for God’s sun.  The sun stops moving south (at least it seems to stop) for 3 days and during this 3-day pause, the sun resides in the vicinity of the Southern Cross Constellation (Crux).  After this time, on December 25th, the sun moves one degree north foreshadowing longer days, warmth and spring – a rebirth.  This is precisely the same sequence s the various ‘Saviours’ (Jesus, Krishna, Mithra, Dionysus, Attis, Horus).

The celebration of the sun’s resurrection wasn’t celebrated until Easter or the Spring Equinox – when the sun overpowers the night with longer days and the revitalization that spring brings.

What are people celebrating at this time of year (Easter) – is it the resurrection of their God, is it the Easter Bunny (the connection between the Easter Bunny and religion is unknown to me) or is it the celebration of chocolate.  What is the significance of this time of year?  As I said in my old blog post:

So what is it that we are celebrating during this time of year?  Are we celebrating the birth of  these mythical characters,  the spiritual fraud and Christian bloodshed, astrology or are we celebrating the beginnings of social control?  Does anyone even really care or is the modern-day commercialization of Christmas/Easter just another attempt to keep all of us distracted.  A distracted civilization is an ignorant civilization and the more distracted and ignorant we become, the more controllable we are.

What makes one religion the authority of all?  Shouldn’t we just instill compassion and love into our world?  Should we not be helping those who need help the most?  Should we not be proactive in healing our planet and having compassion for all that live within in?  Isn’t that what people did since the beginning of civilization?  We didn’t worship a God – we worshipped the planet.  The planet is what gives us the air to breathe, the water we drink and the food that we eat.  It keeps us alive and how do we repay the earth’s generosity?  We deplete its resources by cutting down the trees of our forests – that help give us the air we breathe, we poison the lakes that provide us with clean drinking water and we instill cruelty on animals that fear and try to avoid us.

LOVE should be our religion and with LOVE, we can create so much positive change in the world. 

 

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

 

I DECLARE….

I declare the following and stand strongly behind these declarations as they come from a positive place and they come from LOVE:

  • A person’s CHOICE to believe in religion should not impede on the rights of those who don’t follow any religious doctrine.
  • MARRIAGE is just a word – the process of being or becoming married is NOT solely based and afforded to heterosexual couples.  Individuals who are in loving and in committed same-sex relationships also have the right to be married and call it a marriage because that is what it is!
  • There is no difference between physical abuse towards an animal or a person.  Abuse is abuse.  All sentient beings should be treated with respect, compassion and love.
  • Don’t ever apologize for wanting to spread love and positive energy into the world.  Stand behind what you believe with conviction and with passion and people will respect your views.
  • Religious beliefs SHOULD NEVER influence legislation – religious views are choices people make in what they believe and should never be used to deny civil liberties of others.  Leave religion OUT of politics.
  • Money should never influence a decision for a person, organization or government to do something that will have a positive impact on society.  Isn’t the positive impact worth the money?  Example:  Climate Change – spending money to make our planet more sustainable and moving towards more renewable sources of energy is a good thing whether or not you believe that climate change is happening.
  • LOVE is my religion – I know that I am here on this planet to create positive change in the world.
  • Finally…if you believe in “GOD” – He/She/It made us in His/Her/Their own image.  We are a reflection of Him/Her/It.  So ‘GOD’ is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, black, white, yellow, red, Muslim, Jewish, Catholic, Christian, man, woman, child.  GOD is everyone and everything so when you are judging someone else, you are judging GOD.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY YOURSELF?

If you had to write a brief description of yourself, what would you say about yourself?  What are your greatest attributes?  What are the things you don’t enjoy about yourself?  Have you really ever thought about how others see you?  Do you even care?

I’m going to take a look at these questions and answer them as honestly as I can. 

What are my greatest attributes?

My loyalty, my passion, drive and desire to create positive change into the world, my empathy, my honesty and sincerity.

What are some things I don’t enjoy about myself? 

I like everything about myself.  I like the direction my life took.  I love that I advocate for the ethical treatment of animals.  I love that I have made the choice to become vegan.  I love that I think with my heart.  I love my strong convictions in creating positive change into the world.  I love being in love.  I love learning and growing.

Do I care about what others think of me?

The only person that matters in my life is ME.  Without trying to create the best possible me – I would not be able to motivate others into creating positive change in the world.  I do care about how other people view me – especially if they view me in a negative way.  I encourage feedback in order to ensure I become a better person.  What I don’t care for is when people make judgments about me.  I don’t care if you do not like what I am wearing, the colour of my eyes or hair, that I have gained a few pounds or that I raise my voice a bit when I am defending the earth, our environment, animals that have no voice or people who are oppressed because they were born with certain uniqueness. 

A brief description about myself:

To expand on what I have said above – my commitment in my life is being the best partner, husband and friend to my partner of 21 years.  I want to continue to advocate for the things I am passionate about (animals, environment and the LGBTQ community).  I want to become a beacon in creating positive change in the world – if I have influenced just one other person to be kind to animals, our planet or to each other – my job is done but I’m not going to stop.  I am comfortable and love living my life in the most authentic way possible.  I am not afraid to share my views about many of the injustices in this world.  I really believe that we should treat others in the same way that we want to be treated.  I am not afraid to be expressive and passionate in my convictions and have been known to get into heated discussions about those passions and beliefs.  I am avid believer that ‘one person can make a difference’ and get quite offended when people say that a problem is too big to solve.  I get annoyed when people also say, “you can’t change the habits or thoughts of so many people.” – I don’t think Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Jane Goodall, Ingrid Newkirk or so many other influential people thought this way.  Even Adolf Hitler didn’t think this way. 

I believe I am honest, caring, loving and passionate.  I am overly sensitive – which is an amazing attribute considering most people think that being overly sensitive is a negative trait and a sign of weakness.  Sensitivity is a sign of strength and empathy – people who are sensitive can really put themselves in any situation and act to ensure a positive outcome is not too far from reach.

Today, so many people are too concerned about how others see them and are afraid to live an authentic life.  Imagine the changes we can make in the world if people would just live authentic lives.  Imagine if more people cared about the environment, the poor, the ethical treatment of animals, child poverty, income inequality and other issues that are more deserving of our time and efforts.  More people care about Hollywood gossip than the possible extinction of certain animal species.  We can make huge strides in protecting our declining forests, lakes and oceans but we need to raise our voices and we need to raise them LOUD and STRONG!   The time is now.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

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LET LOVE GUIDE YOU TODAY!

Today, only think in terms of LOVE.  Whenever you are faced with low-energy feelings, think of something that warms and fills your heart with LOVE.  Don’t let someone else’s bad day affect you instead, let your feelings of LOVE infect them to a more positive mood.  Be the beacon of change and your day, week, month, year and lifetime will be encompassed only with LOVE.

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*located in the Distillery District, Toronto, Ontario CANADA.

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* An original oil painting I completed in 2014. Renamed to “Love is Above All” – All my original art will be available in e-book and traditional book formats soon.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE GAY

I have known that there was something wonderful and different about me.  This wonderful thing wasn’t something I reacted to – it was something that was embedded within me.  I didn’t learn it because it was something I just didn’t turn on – it was always there since my birth.  The only time I started doubting my authenticity was when I realized how others viewed those who were born with this ‘uniqueness’.  I was gay, I was me, I was authentic but I now had to deny my authenticity because others were uncomfortable with it.  So I did, until I was 21 and tired of living a lie and trying to please and garner respect from others who had no respect for me. 

So what was it like to be gay?  I can answer this question based on various stages and ages:

From my birth to the age of 12Like I mentioned above, it wasn’t until I understood how people felt about those who were different, that I decided to keep my authenticity to myself.  I remember how ridiculed, belittled, verbally and physically abused and harassed gay people were by those who didn’t tolerate it and only because of this, I decided to live a closeted life.

Between the ages of 13 and 20I understood I was different, I understood I wasn’t really interested in a sexual relationship with those of the opposite sex but alas, society, peers, religion and family enforced their distaste for homosexuals.  I wasn’t encouraged to live an authentic life, so I continued living a life for others and not for myself.  This lie caused much inner-turmoil and created self-hatred and internal homophobia.

Between the ages of 21 and 30I was finally free.  I was in my first long-term relationship and felt I couldn’t live my life filled with lies, deception and without being true to myself.  I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t change who I was – I was born like this.  I was happy with who I was and the problem didn’t lie with me, it lied with those who were ignorant and biased against me and others who were born like me.  These people justified their hate and ignorance behind their religious beliefs and the stereotypes they knew to be true about the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gendered community.  I had enough.

Between the ages of 31 and nowI became more and more comfortable in living my authentic life.  The weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders.  If any of my friends of family had issues with who I was, I was comfortable enough to remove them from my life and allow them to deal with their own prejudices.  Mostly, there weren’t any issues about my sexuality amongst my friends or family that became evident.  If anyone had issues, they were never brought to my attention.  I am who I am.  For those who believe in religious doctrine – I am who God made me to be and if we are all products of The Maker, than the maker is gay, straight, bisexual, black or white.  We DO NOT choose the colour of our skin or our eyes but we do choose what we believe.

So, what is it like to be gay?  Simply, the same as it is to be straight.  If being gay is a choice, then being straight must also be a choice.  I am not defined by my “gayness”, I am defined by my character.  I believe that my character CHOOSES to create positive change in the world, to help people who are down, to encourage people to be kind, loving, compassionate and caring – those are choices, and I would rather choose love and kindness over hate and ignorance.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

 

MY FIRST BOOK….

I have finally created my first project.  It is a book of inspirational messages, affirmations that include personal and original images to help you stay positive and to spread love into the world.  Please share and visit the following link to order a softcover or to purchase the ebook.

Enjoy and thanks for your support.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

http://www.blurb.ca/b/6060698-love-can-be-found-anywhere-inspiring-affirmations?ce=blurb_ew&utm_source=widget

http://store.blurb.ca/ebooks/peb10469fc897f6fb45c7

IMAGINE A SILENT WORLD

Imagine a world in which you are unable to talk or hear.  Not being able to listen to waves crash against the shore, children playing in a playground, dogs barking, birds chirping or a loved one speak your name.  It is heartbreaking.  What if people made it much easier for someone who is hearing impaired to do their daily activities and even interact with others?  Samsung did just that.  Here is the outcome and it’s priceless:

Don’t take anything for granted and remember – as hard as life may be for you, it can be even harder for someone else.  Treat everyone with kindness, love and compassion.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!

WAKE UP TO KINDNESS and LOVE

We should never be too busy to say ‘thank-you’ whenever someone does something kind.  It is not difficult to acknowledge the kindness that others do.  We all appreciate being thanked for the good things we do.  Creating change and inspiring people to do random acts of kindness is not a hard thing to do.  Spreading kindness into the world can be as simple as opening the door for someone or saying ‘thanks’ when someone opens the door for you. 

Too many of us are so preoccupied with trivial things that we become desensitized to just being human and being kind.  It is good to be reminded that there are more important things in the world than celebrity gossip, negative local, national and international news stories and other meaningless junk that we really shouldn’t care about.

I challenge you to perform an act of kindness and love for the rest of the month.  Inspire others and set goals that make you feel good.

Together, we can make the world a more positive one!